Addiction, Caffeine, Women, Sex, Self.

I was an addict. Not a drug addict but I was addicted to caffeine and I didn’t rellay mind because it was the only thing that kept me awake when I needed to. A very attractive doctor of mine gave me a wink and told me there was nothing that could cure it. Although I know the fact that there is no cure because a lot of people are addicted to caffeine especially with coke and coffee—who could resist it, I began to wonder that maybe my addiction was a result of something that happened to me or perhaps something that is happening to me.

Today I write because I fear that caffeine addiction is what reflects my inability to respond to my body’s needs. Let’s set aside the awkward feelings. I undoubtedly need sexual pleasure. I forgot the last time I made love to a man because all these years I spent building a future, doing what I love to do, and looking at the sun, among others. My body is searching for that perfect touch that elevates a profound feeling within me. My body is after all what allows me to do all these things and without a glimmer, a sense of longing, a desire, it’ll just wear off like everything else.

In my opinion, with the modern lifestyle that we have today, our bodies have been functioning as machines. Machines that need to function mechanically in order to operate effectively. Over the years, we have neglected what our bodies are for because we are too focused on the world outside. We forgot that there is a universe within us that needs to be appreciated and attended to. Pardon me for such a statement if you think it’s unattractive especially for a 39 year old woman like me. But my recent realization has enlightened me to break free from what everybody is practically doing—dying inside. We need to start living because life is what we need to discover our true selves. I’m not saying my discovery is that I’m a pervert because that would be too much of a description. I’m saying, we are entitled to our own desires and it is but natural to the human species. There is no need for biblical justification as I don’t intend to offend those who believe in chastity or holiness or whatever.

Anyway, this might come off as a threat to men reading this blog. I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. As to my fellow women, start making a change. This boosts self confidence and perhaps in the future you’ll have an easier time expressing oneself, just like what I’m doing now.

Tags: sex, addiction, caffeine, women, self, revelation, body, needs, desire, attention, pleasure, sexual pleasure, realization